Gold's Secrets Revealed
by emmathecharming
Summary: What happens when Gold finally decides to come clean to Belle about the fake dagger and the rest of his lies? This will be a series of one-shots that will all be connected. Each one-shot will be posted as a chapter of the same story so that they will be easy to find and read in order. I have no idea how long this will keep going. As long as I have ideas, there will be new chapters.
1. The Last Strike

Gold stood in the back room of his shop waiting. He knew Belle was planning to stop by after she closed up the library for the day. She had told him as much last night. He tried to keep himself busy but he could not get what he was planning to do out of his to focus on his work.

He knew that finding out what he had done would hurt her. But he also knew that eventually she was going to find out whether he wanted her to or not. That damned pirate would make sure of that. The threats and deals would only keep Hook quiet for so long before he snapped and exposed the secrets that would cause his own world to fall to pieces.

Suddenly he heard the bell above the door chime, jolting him from his thoughts. He looked up to see that it was indeed closing time already. How long had he been lost in his thoughts? It didn't matter anymore. He had made up his mind, now was the time. He had to come clean.

Gold walked into the front room of the shop. As soon as Belle's eyes met his own she smiled a smile that lit up her whole face. How he loved that smile. The thought of what he was about to do and how it would certainly break that smile made his heart tighten. He hated to be the cause of any pain in the life of this beautiful woman.

"Are you ready to go?"

He snapped back out of his thoughts again.

"Um not quite yet." he responded, not quite ready to start what he knew would be a painful conversation for both of them.

"Oh ok. I was thinking maybe we could get something to eat on the way home."

"Uh maybe. But first..." He knew he couldn't put it off any longer. "First I need to talk to you about something, to tell you something actually."

He could see the curiosity in her eyes mixed with a little bit of what looked to be fear. She was right to be nervous.

"Alright. What is it?"

He sighed. This was turning out to be even harder than he had expected.

"I... I haven't been quite honest with you. I've... kept some things from you."

She was visually shaken. She braced herself but her voice was trembling ever so slightly when she finally responded.

"Well can I assume that since you've brought it up you were planning on changing that?"

"Yes, and not just now. I want to be the kind of man you deserve. I know that I haven't been that man recently but I am going to change that. You deserve so much more."

"What are you talking about? What did you do?" It was clear from the tone of her voice that she was becoming more worried about what he had to share.

"You know how I gave you back the dagger when I proposed to you?"

"Yes..."

"Well shortly after that, I switched it with a fake. You have the real one now but there was a short period where you... well you didn't."

"What do you mean it wasn't real? If it wasn't real then..." She trailed off, noticeably hurt.

"I didn't want to lie to you. And I didn't. Everything I told you when I gave it to you was true. I meant every word. I really did."

"How can I believe that? How can I trust anything you say now?" She was mad now, no longer trying to hide her emotions. Instead she screamed at him, letting everything, all of the hurt, out.

"Just let me explain-"

"Explain what? What could possibly make this better?"

"I... I had to avenge Bae. I know you want me to be a better man. I know you expect that of me. But I couldn't just let Zelena get away with what she did. My boy died for me and I couldn't let him be forgotten. As soon as I was done, I switched it back. I gave you the real dagger. What you have now is the real one. I promise you that."

"Do you really think that means anything now? You promised me you wouldn't go after Zelena. Do you remember that? You promised me when you proposed that you wouldn't go after Zelena. But you've just admitted that you did. If you broke that promise, how can you expect me to trust any other promises you make to me? I trusted you. I trusted you and you lied to me."

She was all but crying at this point, her anger winning out against her hurt at least for the moment.

"I know. I know I've made it hard for you to trust me. I will never forgive myself for what I've done and I know that I shouldn't expect you to forgive me either. But you have to believe me when I say that I truly do love you. I love you more than anything."

"I really don't know if I can believe that anymore, Rumple. I have forgiven you for many things. But I did that because I love you and I trusted you. But that trust has been broken yet again. And I don't know if it can be repaired this time. I just don't know if my love is enough anymore. I thought you had changed, but it looks like I was wrong."

"What can I say to prove it to you? I'll do or say whatever it takes to show you just how much I love you."

"There's nothing left to say. You can't fix it this time."

"Please, there must be something I can do."

"Rumple..."

She stepped forward and started to reach for his face as if she were about to kiss him but she stopped herself and instead turned and exited the shop.

"Goodbye, Mr. Gold."

That was more than even he could take. That farewell was the last strike needed to shatter his heart into a million pieces. He didn't know if he would ever see her again. All he could do was hope that she could find it in her heart, her beautiful, caring heart, to forgive his darkness yet again.


	2. Another Now

Belle didn't know where to go. Where does one go after their whole world has fallen apart? She couldn't very well go home. What if he showed up? It was his house after all. But she'd never had a home of her own her in Storybrooke. She'd lived with her father and then with Rumple. There was always Granny's but ignoring its proximity to the shop and the rest of town, the small, blank rooms of the bed and breakfast were all too similar to the room in the hospital she had occupied during the first curse, the room that held so many painful memories. No Granny's wouldn't do. She didn't want to bother anyone else in town though by asking to stay with them. They were all dealing with so much as it was without her asking for a place to stay. She didn't want to cause anyone any trouble. She would have to think of something else.

Finally, after several minutes wandering up and down Main Street, she thought of a solution, the house on the edge of town that she'd shared with Rumple during their honeymoon. It would be painful, no doubt, but at least she would be safe there. She would also be far enough away from everyone else to allow her to work through what had just happened.

Belle made her way to the edge of town, cautiously since she was walking. She had never thought about how few things she had here in Storybrooke. Not only had she never had a home of her own but she had no car. Everything she had was part of her life with Rumple. She could think of few things that belonged to just her.

The house was harder to find in the dark than she'd expected. Finally she found it; she could see the outline of the roof against the sky. She made her way slowly to the front door and then inside, after all she couldn't be sure that she was alone.

Once she was sure that she was in fact alone, she began to roam through the empty house. There were so many rooms with so many wonderful memories. There was the ballroom where they shared their first dance after the wedding, the kitchen where they had cooked dinner together that night, and the library where they had chosen to eat forsaking the dining room in favor of the room that reminded them so much of the one Rumple had given her so long ago. Finally she reached the stairs. Up those stairs she would find the room where they'd spent their first night together as husband and wife.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs for a while, unable to force herself to take the first step. Perhaps she should just sleep on the sofa, she was pretty sure she had seen one earlier.

"No." she thought. "I can do this. I need to do this."

She took one step and then another, slowly making her way to the top. She looked to the left and saw several doors, one of which was sure to lead to another bedroom. But then she looked to her right and saw the door she and Rumple had chosen that first night. It was still slightly ajar. They must not have been very careful when they left. Through the door she could see the beautiful bed they had slept in that night. Her hard, composed exterior began to fall away at the sight but she stepped forward anyway.

She wasn't sure why she walked through that door. She knew that it would be painful for her, being surrounded by all the memories that were sure to surface as soon as she did.

She was right. As soon as she stepped through the door, the memories came flooding back. She could almost see the two of them before her eyes. She saw the laughter, the smiles, the kisses, the love. That love that had seemed so true and pure to her then but was now so dark and painful. That was the thing about love, it didn't just go away. Her heart may be broken, but the love was still there adding to her new pain.

She thought back through the time they had spent together. She thought back to the Enchanted Forest, back to when he was still feared as the infamous Dark One. She had never understood why everyone had been so afraid of him, even then. She had always seen the good in him, even when he couldn't see it himself. He had come so close, even back then, to letting go of his power to instead hold on to his love for her. She remembered the day they shared their first kiss. She had been so happy. It looked as if his curse would be broken and he would finally be open to her love. But instead he chose his power over her. Perhaps she should have given up after that. Maybe she should have taken that as a sign. She could have saved herself so much heartbreak if she had simply left him and never given him another thought.

Then she thought back to the time they had spent together here in Storybrooke. She had seen him struggle again with the darkness within him. She had seen him triumph over it to protect her and his son from Pan. She had lost him too. She remembered the pain of that time without him but also the joy she felt after finding him again. She had seen his darkness while he was under Zelena's control and she had been with him through the loss of his son. She had seen him change and become a better man, or least she thought she had. Perhaps that was all a lie too. How could she know what was real anymore?

She awoke from her thoughts for a moment to find that she had somehow made her way to sit on the bed and tears were now falling steadily down her face. How different tonight was from the last time she was here. That joy was gone leaving misery in its place. The sharp contrast between the moments delivering another blow to her heart. Why had she chosen this place, this place that had come to mean so much to her? Perhaps she had wanted to go back, back to that time when she had been so happy, so joyful. But now that she was back where it had happened, she realized just how impossible that dream was. Even if she could find some way to forgive him, they would never be able to go back to what they had been. That life was gone, the trust she once possessed for him had been shattered.

She couldn't help but long for the way things had been. Loving Rumple had never been easy by any means. But it had been good. She had loved him with everything she had and had felt his love in return. But she couldn't help but wonder if any of that had been real. He had lied to her, even on their wedding day. He had gone back on his promise to leave Zelena alive. The dagger, what was supposed to be a symbol of his love and trust, had been a fake. Their marriage had started with a pile of lies. And yet...

No matter what she told herself, the lies she listed, the promises that he had broken, she knew that, deep down at least, she did still love him. She probably always would. But the question was what to do with that love now. She couldn't see herself forgiving him, not now anyway. The thought of a life spent without him made her want to scream. But the thought of trying again after today was unimaginable. She knew that this was not a decision she was going to be able to make in a night, nor should she try to. She knew that what she needed now was sleep. She knew that sleep would not be easy but she had to try anyway. She couldn't find the strength to leave that room despite the pain she felt being there. So instead, she simply lay down where she was, the tears still flowing, and closed her eyes hoping that tomorrow would bring a new beginning where she could start to move forward.


	3. The Morning After

The next morning, Belle woke in a daze. She reached for the space next to her on the bed, reached for Rumple. But he wasn't there. Where was she and how had she ended up there?

She blinked and rubbed her eyes trying to force them to focus on her surroundings. Once she was finally able to take in the room around her, she recognized immediately where she was. She was back in that house on the edge of town.

But how had she ended up there? The last night seemed like a fog, the memories clouded. But the harder she focused, the more pieces she was able to find. And soon, the picture of just what had led her to that room came together. She had gone to the shop to walk home with Rumple. He had seemed so nervous as he walked out from the back room. Then her mind went to that conversation, his revelations. He'd babbled on about how he wanted to change, wanted to be a better man, the man she deserved. But what he revealed next had torn those promises to shreds. He had lied, not a little white lie if there even was such a thing. The token that he had given her as a symbol of his trust in her had been a fake.

The emotions that came with that final memory were too much for her. She started to cry, once again unable to hold anything back. The moments passed and she began to compose herself yet again when she was startled by a soft sound coming from downstairs. She cautiously made her way out of the room and to the top of the stairs where she realized that the sound was coming from her cellphone which she must have forgotten somewhere during her walk through the house the night before.

She made her way downstairs to find her purse dropped on the floor just inside the front door with the now silent phone inside. As she reached inside the bag, the phone sounded again. She looked at the screen and saw the name on the front, Rumple. She quickly hit ignore, punching the button so hard she almost lost her grip on the device.

"What is he thinking? Did he actually think I would answer?" she said out loud, forgetting that there was no one around to respond.

"Well he must have figured it out" she said, relieved when the phone once again grew silent and he didn't call a third time.

After a moment however, her phone alerted her to the fact that she had a new voicemail.

_I don't know what he could possibly have to say after everything. But I suppose I should at least listen to whatever it is_. So after a moment, she pressed play and placed the phone against her ear.

"Belle." his voice trembled as he spoke and with every waver, her resolve began to crumble. "Belle, dear, I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You didn't come home last night, not that I expected you to, of course. But I'm worried about you. I... I just need to know that you're ok. Well I don't mean ok. I mean safe. I just need to know that you're safe. And I need you to know that I love you. I know it's hard to believe, but I do."

She heard what seemed to be the sounds of him crying in the last seconds before the message ended and as his tears ended hers began again. At least he was hurting too. No, she shouldn't think like that. She didn't like the thought of her dearest Rumple hurting. But it did comfort her to know that this was not going to simply roll off his back. His pain let her know that at least some part of him, however small that part was, still cared for her.

_Of course he cared, of course he wanted to be sure she was safe. He had always cared, had always been so protective of her, even from the very beginning she had seen it. Why would she question his affection now?_

No. She didn't want to think about him right now. She couldn't. She needed distance from the situation in order to think clearly and the only way she was going to get it was to put him from her mind, at least for a while. She made her way to the kitchen hoping that they had been careless in their cleaning of that room too and she would find something left there to eat. She was starving, not having eaten since lunch the previous day.

After finding a small bit of food that was luckily still good, Belle moved on to the library. That small library felt so full of promise, libraries always felt that way to her. No matter how alone she felt, she knew that she could always find solace in her stories. They had always been there for her, teaching her about love, pushing her towards bravery and adventure, showing her worlds that she could only dream of seeing in person.

But today seemed different. She struggled to find a book that appealed to her and even after she had finally chosen one and sat down to read, it was unable to keep her focus. Getting lost in a book had never been hard for her; she'd always been able to ignore any outside distraction in favor of whatever she was reading. But it was far harder to ignore something when it was inside of you. Even she couldn't ignore her heart, no matter how hard she tried to quiet it.

After several moments spent staring blankly at the pages, she closed the book. She looked up and saw her phone sitting across the room where she left it on one of the bookshelves. She crossed the room and picked it up, navigating once again to her voicemail. She paused for a moment but then continued on and pressed play to once again listen to Rumple's message from that morning. She couldn't ignore the pain in his voice, the sound of his tears. Her heart ached to hold him, to comfort him and dry his eyes.

_But what about me?_

She wasn't sure if she'd said it aloud or if her thoughts were simply screaming at her trying to be heard. Either way, she was right. How could she think of comforting him when he hadn't even bothered to call until today? Was he not worried last night? He had waited more than 12 hours to call from the time she'd last seen him. How had he spent that time? Her night certainly hadn't been easy. Had she simply been an afterthought once he'd woken this morning?

She hated herself for thinking such things about her Rumple, but at the same time, she felt that he deserved it all and maybe worse. He'd said he loved her, even today he had said it, but he had lied to her, so many times in so many ways. She needed to remember that no matter how much she loved him and he said he loved her, it wasn't enough for him to really change. His obsession with power still had a greater hold on him than their love.

She was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of her phone ringing as Rumple tried to reach out to her yet again. She hesitated to answer but decided that at the very least she should let him know that she was alright. She took one last deep breath, sighing as she answered his call and put the phone to her ear.

"Belle? Are you there?" He was clearly expecting to reach her voicemail again.

"I'm here." It was barely more than a whisper as she tried to keep her emotions under control.

"Are you ok? Belle, I've been so worried about you. I didn't sleep at all last night I was so worried. Are you alright?"

She paused a moment before responding, choosing her words carefully. _What could she say? She was far from ok._

"I'm safe. I found a place to stay the night."

"Thank goodness. I knew you hadn't gone to Granny's and I was so worried you were still wandering around town."

"There was no need to worry. I found shelter and a bed."

"Did you sleep at all? Do you have food?" She was growing frustrated with him by now. _He acted like he cared so much about her even as he was the cause of her pain and trouble._

"I slept a little. I'll have to find more food soon though."

"Please just come back to town. You don't have any money. Go to Granny's and I'll pay for it later."

"I don't really wa-"

"I know you probably don't want to see me. I just want to make sure that you're safe. I'll stay away from you as long as you'd like me to."

"Rumple..." She had so much to say to him and yet she found herself unable to continue. She could feel the tears beginning to form in her eyes. She took a deep breath to steady herself and to try and hold them back.

"Ok. I'll go to Granny's. But I don't want to see you. I can't, not yet."

"I understand. I'll tell Granny to give you whatever you need or want. You can stay as long as you wish."

"Thank you." She quickly hung up wanting to avoid having to respond if he told her again that he loved her. She'd barely held back the tears as it was. But all that was over now. She sunk down onto the nearest chair, numb again, as the tears began to flow freely down her face. She leaned forward, resting her face in her hands and let out everything she'd hid from him.

She sat there silently crying until her eyes seemed to run dry. She sat up and took a few deep, steadying breaths and then went to find the restroom. She couldn't very well walk through the center of town with her face covered in mascara from the night before now spread down her face, carried along with her tears.

She walked back to the library to gather the few things she had brought with her. She found her phone in the chair and her purse on the table near the doorway. She picked up the book she had tried to read and selected two others as well. She would need something to do while she was at Granny's. She walked to the front door, put on her coat that was hanging in the entryway, and began the walk back to town.

The walk back was much easier now that the sun was up. But as she neared the center of town, she grew more careful. She watched, glanced down every street, searching for Rumple or any other townsperson who might have noticed her absence last night. She didn't want to see or talk to anyone. She just wished to get to the bed and breakfast and into her room where she could once again be alone with her thoughts, to continue working through what she wanted to do now.

She made it to Granny's without incident but as she walked up to the door of the bed and breakfast, she thought she heard someone else in the lobby with Granny. _Who would be checking in right now?_ She opened the door with a small sigh, whoever it was, they would certainly be moving on to their room soon and she could get her key from Granny. But when she opened the front door, she found that the voice did not belong to a new guest, instead finding herself face to face with the last person she had wished to see there, Rumple.


End file.
